Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
