Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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