I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
