I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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