he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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