The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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