she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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