Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
