so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
