Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
