I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
