I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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