I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
