So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
