i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
time to smoke my breakfast
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
