He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
