Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
