he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
