Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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