Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
