Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
