I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
