Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
