she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
