So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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