I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
