did you get engaged???
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
