Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
