I didn't shave. On purpose
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
