as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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