have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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