Christians are straight up FREAKS
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
