Umm I'm too high to move.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
