Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
