i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
