Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
