Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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