she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
