What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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