just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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