I CAN MOONWALK!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There's always time for handjobs
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
