He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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