why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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