I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
