How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
