I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
