...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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