i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
