my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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