My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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