I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
