You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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