finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize