you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
