So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
