I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
