Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
And then he peed in my hair
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