On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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