birth control should be required to get into college
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
