I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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