I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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