That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just found puke in my bra..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
