oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
