I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
