This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
