I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's never too late to be topless.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
