I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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