Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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