No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
