Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
