since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize