Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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