wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
