No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
