woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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