How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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