Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
