I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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